For those of you suffering from anxiety, you know that it is hard turning to others for support. For those of you who are the people that someone with anxiety leans on, it can be so hard to know the right thing to say and how best to support them. Therefore, I have decided to write this weeks’ blog on the things that people should NOT say to someone with anxiety. If you suffer from daily anxiety I challenge you to talk to you husband, wife, mother, father, sister, brother, friend, etc. and tell them the things they may say that simply do not help you. In some cases their words may trigger your anxiety to be even worse.

If you typically confide in people that love you, trust me when I say that they WANT to know what they can say or do to help you. They just don’t always know what that may be. YOU need to help yourself by letting others know what they can do, what they can say, and what things you may need to support you. YOU need to do this for your loved ones, so that they can help you live your life as free of anxiety as is possible.

I know that I have been fortunate with an extremely supportive family and group friends who have actively wanted to help me through my journey living with anxiety. However, even with my amazing and supportive family and friends they have each said things along the way that have made me feel worse about myself in a time when I was already struggling. I know that they do not do this in an intentional way to hurt or dismiss what I am dealing with, but sometimes it happens and they are unaware of what their words have done to me. It is important to remember that those NOT suffering from anxiety may have a hard time understanding what you are going through.

Please know that in no way am I being negative towards the people that do not suffer from anxiety. I am not being negative about the things they may say. I am just wanting to share with both anxiety suffers and their support systems what responses I have received personally that made my anxiety worse instead of better. I hope that these statements facilitate communication and awareness. So without further ado, below are 10 things you should NOT say to an anxious person and why.

1. Just relax. Calm down.

I can practically hear my husbands’ voice saying these words to me as I type. I can also hear my heated response, “If I could JUST calm down or relax I would.” It is so hard when you are wound up tightly, stressed, worried, and in the midst of extreme anxiety. It is even harder to hear someone tell you to just relax and calm down. Do you know how desperate we are to do both of these things? Anxious people would love to be able to just flip a switch and turn all the anxiety off. Anxious people would love to just instantaneously be able to calm down or relax at the recommendation, and it is frustrating being aware of what you need to do and not being able to do it. We know that we SHOULD relax and SHOULD calm down in the midst of our anxiety, but often times we have an extremely hard time in the moment doing these things. Instead of saying these words it would be best to say something validating. Try to say that you understand they are needing a few minutes to calm down, you know that what they are experiencing is hard, and that you are there if they need anything.

2. Just stop thinking about it.

I promise you that if someone could just NOT think about it they would gladly do this. Unfortunately, the more someone tries not to think about something the more they obsess over it, and are unable to get it out of their mind. It may be tiresome and hard for you to understand the need to talk through everything, but letting them talk through whatever is worrying them will be much more beneficial for them and in the long run you.

3. Just get over it, and let it go.

If it was as easy as just telling themselves to just get over something and move on, then I assure you they would have already done it. It is not easy to just get over something when you have a lot of fear, worry, and stress involved. Instead, offer to help them come up with a plan that they can follow in steps to address and let go of their anxiety.

4. You’re allowing your anxiety to win, and in turn are bringing anxiety on to yourself.

Anxiety is NOT our fault, we do NOT choose it. Not one person I know would choose to bring anxiety on themselves. Trust me when I say, we already know that in some ways we are contributing to own anxiety, and we don’t need reminding that we are making it worse. I will be the first person to admit that YES I have often fed my anxiety by giving it power over me. Your mind is a powerful tool to overcoming your anxiety, however, if you are in the thralls of anxiety then you feel as though your mind and body have betrayed you. You already feel like your anxiety has won, and you don’t need to be told that YOU let it happen.

You are probably self-aware that anxiety just kicked your tush. You feel overwhelmed with your mind and body not responding correctly (without anxiety), and it is frustrating to be told that it is your fault how your body and mind are reacting to the world around you. You can’t help responding to fear when you are afraid of a situation, you can’t help responding with panic when you feel overwhelmed, and you can’t help your body’s physical reaction to a perceived threat. Those of us who suffer from anxiety are aware that we contribute to our anxiety, but we don’t need reminders from others that we might be bringing it on ourselves by not being strong enough to overcome our fears.

5. It’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it.

Even though this phrase was said to me out of love and with hope that anxiety would not be a permanent battle that I lived with, it was still so frustrating to hear. The better phrase would have been, “It will get better as you grow and learn to deal with your anxiety.” Yes, life can kick your tush and throw a lot at you at once and cause temporary anxiety that you can overcome with better circumstances and time. However, for someone that suffers from generalized anxiety this statement is incredibly frustrating.

Generalized anxiety is not a phase that you just grow out of. You might work incredibly hard to build up management strategies that work against your anxiety most of the time in order to have a better future, but anxiety will still always be there to some degree. Accept that your loved one might truly have to live with anxiety for LIFE. No, it is not something you ever want for someone that you love to live a life of anxiety.

Accepting that they need to prepare themselves long term is important. If you tell them it is just a phase and the phase never goes away, they will be even more anxious and scared that it is not going away. They will forever wait for a day that their anxiety magically phases out of their life, and unfortunately that does not always happen. It is better to accept that they have anxiety, and try to help them understand it and learn to live with.

6.Snap out of it, it can’t be that bad.

Tough love brought this phrase out of a family member when they felt helpless and unable to “fix” what was happening to me when I first started having panic attacks. Forcefulness of wanting to get me back to myself was not going to miraculously take me back to my old non-anxious self. If I could have just snapped my fingers and found myself at peace, I would have done it. It was hurtful being told to snap out of it, because I knew in that moment they were incredibly frustrated with me on top of the fact that I was incredibly frustrated with myself for a reaction that I couldn’t control. I also knew there was no way they understood what was going on with me. This one little sentence made me feel so misunderstood and alone.

It really was THAT bad. Not only was I scared and confused with what was happening to my body and mind, but I was physically and mentally not able to be whom I NEEDED to be. I felt like I had been robbed of myself when my anxiety started up. Not only did I WANT to be back to normal, but I couldn’t function like I NEEDED too. I was not over exaggerating when I felt too scared and worried to drive. I was not over exaggerating when I felt like I was truly having a heart attack when a panic attack would set in. I was not over exaggerating the heightened fear, stress, worry, and utter panic I felt each time anxiety gripped me. It made me feel ashamed that someone would think I would exaggerate what I was going through and how it was affecting me. After this statement was told to me, I flat out refused to talk to anyone (DO NOT DO THIS IT IS NOT HELPFUL). I was embarrassed and ashamed and isolated myself, which was not healthy. This single phrase kept me from getting the support and help I needed for months.

7.You’re just too sensitive.

Anxious people are sensitive. Yes, we worry over everything and take everything to heart. Yes, we have to actively work on under-reacting instead of over-reacting to almost everything, but it is NOT because we are sensitive that we have anxiety.

8. Don’t be paranoid.
​
To an anxious person, being paranoid is COMPLETELY different than anxiety. We do not want to be told that we are paranoid, it makes us feel terrible about what we are thinking and feeling. Yes, we might need to go over something a million different ways in our minds and stress over fearful factors in our surroundings. However, that does not mean that we are paranoid. What we are feeling in that moment of fear, or that moment of stress is very real to us for whatever reason that our mind and body tell us.

9. There are a lot of people that live with worse anxiety, and they don’t react like you do.

Perspective is an important thing and can teach you a lot, however, do not compare one persons’ problems to another persons’ problems when it is not you walking in their shoes. Comparing someone to someone else only invites feeling of in-adequateness and self-judgement. Just don’t do that to someone you love and care about.

10. I don’t know what you want me to do about it.

This one is frustrating both for the person living with anxiety and for the confidant. It is hard hearing about the struggles for the millionth time from someone you love, and not feeling like you can actually DO anything to help them. I know it gets frustrating not feeling helpful, but know that you are helping just by listening to them. Listening and being present is doing something about their anxiety.

**For suffers of anxiety, remember your loved ones are desperate to try any tactic they feel will help you. Try to remember they come from a place of love even when they are forceful, harsh, or hurtful (not talking about verbal, emotional, or physical abuse as those are completely different circumstances and should be addressed).***

I hope these things NOT to say help all people touched by anxiety. I would love to hear your thoughts on this weeks' blog.

Until next week readers,

Ginger

​Mornings can be a great opportunity for quite time to reflect. It can be hard to set aside time, but I challenge you to do it. I find that reading scriptures centered around overcoming my fears and anxieties are very important to setting myself up to tackle my upcoming weeks. These are some great scriptures that help me get the right perspective to overcome my fear, worry, and anxiety. I challenge you to remember that God has got you in his hands at all times. 💕

I used to be the worlds worst at not being able to tell someone no. I still am sometimes, not going to lie. I was your girl if you needed someone to do something for you. I would literally pile myself high with all the extras that others needed help with. I was the one that everyone went to when they needed a shift covered, because they knew I couldn’t say no when they asked me. I would share my notes with people who didn’t make it to class, go watch kiddos for someone even when I had other plans, and rush over to help someone even if it meant I was not helping myself. I was the person that would agree to serve on multiple boards and committees and agree to fundraisers and events just because they needed extra hands. I agreed to all sorts of plans all the time, and stressed myself out over being able to keep them. I was overrun with not being able to say a single word…NO.

Now, you might be wondering why a grown women such as myself might have had a hard time saying no. If you feel like you can’t understand why one little word is so hard to say, then you don’t understand the life and mind of an anxious person. It’s not that easy to say that one little word when you are an anxious person that analyzes, frets, and second guesses every person, decision, relationship, facial expression, event, etc. Yes, my anxiety is manageable NOW but it hasn’t always been.

For the anxious worriers of the world who are scared that they will hurt someones’ feelings or let someone down when they say that one little word, you will understand that NO is a very really hard word to say. Anxious people do not want to see the face of someone that they feel will be disappointed, because it means they will constantly worry over it. Anxious people will truly fight the urge to try to make-up with that person for what they feel was a let down when they said no. In reality, saying no to doing something for someone might be a let down to that person that really needs the help. However, that does not mean that they feel let down with you personally. Remember that people! Yes, that person might actually need help and be upset not to get it. No, that does not mean it was your responsibility to help them. Remember, if someone does get upset because you say no, more than likely they are not upset at YOU they are upset because of THEIR situation.

An anxious person might also feel like they need to volunteer to do something in the future for that person, if they do say the dreaded NO word. Why? Because they will want to fix the feeling of the previous letdown. You might hear an anxious person say that they can’t this time, but that they want to help you do x, y, z the next time. This is their way to feel better about having to tell someone no. With perspective and understanding of my anxiety, I am aware that I do not have to fix or make-up with anyone for saying no. However, it took a lot of intentional practice for me to combat the guilt I felt with saying no to the logic that it was okay to say no when I needed to. I taught myself that I did NOT need to feel bad about telling someone I couldn’t do something.

As an anxious person, I learned to develop the right perspective in order to not overload myself with others’ favors. Of course, I WANT to help others as much as I can when I can, but not at my own expense. Remember people, you are the only person in the whole world that can 100% have your best interests in mind at all times. This means you have to look after yourself and make sure you are not stressing yourself out or over exerting yourself mentally or physically.

I had to learn to not feel guilty over needing to tell others that I wanted to help but couldn’t. I had to learn that I needed to put myself (and my family) first sometimes and that it was OKAY to do this. Invest in yourself people. If you are already stressed and overwhelmed trying to manage your OWN stuff, then do yourself and others a favor and say no to THEIR stuff. How can you possibly help them if you are overwhelmed with what you have on your own plate?

Next time you are asked to help with something, I challenge you to ask yourself these questions:

• Will it stress you out? If the answer is yes, then say NO.
• Will it cause you to change your own plans in a negative way? If the answer is yes, then say NO.
• Do you want to say no deep down but also want to say yes only because you do not want to feel like you disappointed someone? If the answer is yes, then say NO.
• Do you only want to say yes, even though you know you have no time in your schedule, only so that you are not left out of something? If the answer is yes, then say NO.

Prioritize what YOU need to do, and then see if there is any wiggle room for time to help others. Say NO if you simply can’t help do that favor. It will be okay. You are meant to do a lot of things….but NOT everything. If your BFF calls and asks you to pick-up her kiddos on the way home, and you are going the opposite way for an appointment you need to be at do NOT say sure (unless of course it’s an emergency…but those are completely different). If it is going to cause you to change your plans, and add on extra stress, then just say that you would love to help but just can’t this time. You can say no in a polite way.

Even though I still say yes a lot of the time, it has helped my anxiety tremendously learning to say no some of the time. I now usually only say yes to things that I WANT to do and can do without extra stress.

I challenge you this week to stay strong and say no. It was the best thing for my anxiety when I learned to use that two letter word.

Until next time readers,

Ginger

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, have faith, I will not fail you or forsake you, and I will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

I have had a hard time staying faithful and true to this Bible verse these past few weeks, because life has been too much. I feel like telling the referee that I need a timeout. The stresses of my daughter being sick, life in general, and anxiety have left me a poor version of myself.

My anxiety leaves me with a need to be in control of my life, to understand what is going on around me, to doubt and question, to have order, to be successful, to be able to plan and manage, etc. I notice when I get stressed or overwhelmed, I can lash out in anger or frustration. I don’t mean the hitting and cussing kind of anger (seek help if that’s the boat you’re in)….I mean the snapping at you because you looked at me wrong anger.

My anxiety demands planning, order, and control. Normally, I am able to use my own tips I have found to manage my anxiety. However, when extremely stressful life events leave me thrown into situations that are not plannable, not orderly, and leave me out of control it feeds my anxiety like gas to a flame. Is it fair to those I lash out towards? Absolutely not, and moreover, it always leaves me feeling terribly ashamed of myself.

This week has brought another round of Urgent Care, Emergency Room Visits, and Doctor Appointments for my daughter Eleanor. It has been so frustrating to not be in control, and not know what is going on with her. Elle has had a fever of 105-106, congestion, stomach issues, wheezing, and a full body rash. I have been assured that this has nothing to do with her previous sickness, but my anxiety leaves me questioning this as well.

We have been told it is the Endovirus, Rosella, and an Ear Infection. Do I trust these diagnosis? Nope. Why? Because until today, there has been no blood work and there were no tests that can conclusively tell me 100% that (insert virus here) is actually the cause of her problems. My anxiety makes it to where I NEED to know 100% what is wrong with my sweet baby. I am the one meant to make decisions for her and protect her and I feel like I am failing. I can’t just take the word of a doctor without proof with something as important as my daughter. I need to feel reassured that we are on the right track.

How is it that my baby who was just in the ICU three weeks ago with the Flu and Pneumonia is now extremely sick again? This time is even harder, because we simply don’t know what is wrong. What is causing a 105 fever and a full body rash???

I am overwhelmed. I am stressed. I am unsatisfied with what the doctors are telling me, and I don’t trust in them since they have been wrong throughout this week. My mind goes from best possibilities to the worst as far as a diagnosis. I have had to miss work. I have had to put a smile on my face and breathe deeply to try to see the positives.

It is HARD being an adult, people. It is HARD being a parent. It is HARD doing both while living with anxiety.

I am not saying that my life is any harder than others, because everyone deals with their own demons whether openly or silently, and guess what? They are all different demons, because we are all different people. However, I can speak from the perspective of someone with anxiety and say that it sure is not easy to keep your head above water in such stressful times.

How do I cope right now, and how am I still trying to go about my life as normally as possible?

I followed my own advice. I prayed, breathed, reduced sugars and caffeine, I though positively, I reached out to others and let them help me, etc. I’ll tell you a secret. It was so hard accepting help even though we needed it. Were these things enough? No, of course it was not enough with the stresses of my daughter having two major life threatening illnesses in the past two weeks on top my anxiety. But am I making it? Yes, I am. Well….at least I am trying and that is something!

There’s the key people. The second that you stop trying, you give into your worries, fears, anxiety. Yes, life can suck (inhale greatly) sometimes, but you know what? So long as you keep trying to improve yourself, see yourself through a situation better than you did the last time, and find those negatives and try to replace them with positives; then you have never truly let your anxiety win. I know that I have both strengths and weaknesses, and I have to trust in God to help equip me to face the challenges of today and tomorrow. I need God to help me be brave. I need God to remind me that he is with me wherever I go, and that he has got this. I have faith that He has got my husband, myself, and my daughter in his hand of protection. I have faith that he will see us through. If you can’t trust yourself to see yourself through hard times…trust in him.

I challenge you to be BRAVE and to never stop trying to improve yourself and your circumstances.

Until next time!

Ginger

 Even though I have written on how social media makes anxiety worse on my earlier blog post, I still struggle with turning off my social media accounts and taking a break each and every day. I want to challenge each of you to turn off the notifications on your phone, unplug from the world online, and take a break from the constant stream of everyone documenting their lives. Get outside, sit and relax at your home, enjoy a family dinner WITHOUT your phone, have a conversation with someone face-to-face while looking them in their eyes, etc.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious with your own life, then adding others’ lives with their constant posts, pictures, comments, etc. to your mind, whether good or bad, is flat out overwhelming and is bound to make your anxiety worse. There have been numerous studies done that show an association between social media use and depression, anxiety, and sleep problems.  This online world of media lets you constantly compare and criticize both yourself and your life. Why put yourself in that position?

Take a break!

Until later this week my amazing readers,

Ginger

Let me first say that I am not a medical professional, and I am not advising anyone who is on medicine to quit taking it. We are each different and handle our anxiety differently and that is okay. Some people need medicine, and there is nothing wrong with that AT ALL. In this post, I just want to share with you some ways I manage my anxiety without medicine.

That said, I have come up with 20 ways that I manage my anxiety without relying on medicine. I hope these help you manage your anxiety better whether on medicine or not.  

1. Physical Exercise.

This one is huge people…get moving! You may not feel like it, but if you can just make yourself walk, run, swim, hit up the gym, etc. it will make you feel so much better. I notice that after I exercise my anxiety symptoms are all but gone. Exercise makes my body feel better, and in turn if my body feels better, then usually so does my mind. Also, nerd moment here… scientifically speaking when you exercise your body releases endorphins, and endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body that not only makes you happy but relaxes you.

2. Take time off of social media accounts. 

Seriously people, turn off the notifications on your phone, unplug from the world online, and take a break. There have been numerous studies done that show an association between social media use and depression, anxiety, and sleep problems.  This online world of media lets you constantly compare and criticize both yourself and your life. Why put yourself in that position? Take a break!
 
3.  Breathe.
 
Breathe one deep breath in through your nose slowly, hold, and release through your mouth slowly. Repeat this as often as you need. On particularly anxious days, I can find myself doing this almost every hour. You may still feel anxiety, but when you’re breathing like this your body is not able to go into a full on panic attack. Your breathing fights your body and keeps it from being able to panic. Neat right?!
 
4. Sleep. 

This is extremely important. Sleep is your body's time to recover and restore. Sleep deprivation can make even the most relaxed person stressed and overwhelmed, and if you suffer from anxiety it makes your anxiety even worse. Sleep lets your body recover from the day's activities, recharge and get ready for the next day. If you are not sleeping and letting your mind and body recover then you will feel run down and overwhelmed before your day even starts in the morning.
 
5. Find and read a good daily devotional that focuses on fear or anxiety.

This for me is one of my biggest aids in managing my anxiety. Every morning while I wait for my shower to get warm I read my devotional. It gives me a good start and a wonderful perspective on my upcoming day. Below are some of my two favorite authors and their devotionals.

6. Conversational Prayer  

I pray throughout my entire day almost as though I am having a stop and go conversation with the big man. I pray, pray, pray. I pray for strength to be stronger than my anxiety, I pray for peace throughout my days, and I pray for God to give me the ability to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. If I am stressed about driving, I will pray on my drive until I get where I am going safely. If I am faced with deadlines and to-do lists miles long, I pray to not be overwhelmed and for God to help me prioritize and find peace. Praying also makes me feel not so alone, because I am carrying this other person, the big man, with me wherever I go. Talk yourself through it by talking to God.
 
7. Thankfulness.

Think of all the things you are thankful for, and focus on them and how grateful you are. When your mind is full of stressful thoughts, try to replace them with thankfulness.  It may sound silly, but in my mind I literally list out the things that I am thankful for. I think of all the big things I am thankful for: my daughter, my husband, my family, my friends, my house, my job, food, clothes, car, health money, etc. I then continue all the way through the small things I enjoy everyday that I could easily take for granted: the hot water in my shower, the yummy cup of coffee I get every morning, the time to enjoy my new book, etc. After I go through this list I usually have a better mental perspective.
 
8. Talk to someone. 

This is a big one, reach out to someone that you can pour your soul out and know they will not judge you and will still love you no matter what they hear. It may not always be someone who understands anxiety, but there is at least one person out there that you can talk with. Confiding in others is so important. It makes you feel better to put words to your thoughts, it makes you feel better to feel a little more validated in what you are feeling, and it makes your feel better to feel understood and not alone.
 
9. Laugh. 

Find something that makes you laugh. Watch funny videos on YouTube if you have too. Whatever you have to do in order to get laughing, do it! Laughing releases a relaxant that diminishes the stress throughout your entire body.
 
 
10 . Plan and write a to-do list if your mind is on overdrive. 

When you feel overwhelmed with life get out a piece of paper, or as I like to use a sticky note, and write down everything you need to get done. Plan out big pieces of your day ahead of time so you feel prepared. For example, one day I found myself stressing out about needing to go to the grocery store after school and needing to get home and unloaded before 4:00, so we could leave for a dinner. After the dinner I knew I had x, y, z to do before company came the next day, and I was stressed not being able to just get them done and off my plate beforehand. The simple reality was that I did not have time to do them before. I was stressing about something I had no control over. I was stressed because these things were not already done, and I was afraid I would forget them. I took out a sticky note and wrote down all the things that needed to be done and carried it with me in my purse. I felt better knowing I had an action plan to get them done and a specific reminder of everything I had to do. Plans and To-do lists are the bomb!
 
11. Snuggle your baby or your pets, if you have them.

This is the BEST therapy. Hold tight to those sweet little people or animals that love you unconditionally no matter what. It is therapeutic to hold someone who holds you back without words. Let them love you through your worst times. I sometimes grab both my dogs and throw them in the bed with me and my daughter during nap time, and just soak up the feeling of having us all together.

12. Read blogs, articles, and magazines about anxiety. 

Find something to read that makes you understand that what you are dealing with is something that others are dealing with too.  Find something to read that makes you realize you are not alone. Unfortunately, not a lot of people openly discuss the good, bad, and ugly of anxiety, and it leaves you feeling like there is something terribly wrong with you, and that you are the only one dealing with it.  It is very isolating, scary, and upsetting to feel like there is something wrong with you that others don’t have to deal with. Instead of feeling that you are fighting something alone in your life I find that reading a blog, article, or magazine about anxiety reminds me that I am not alone and SO many people are dealing with this. Not only does it make you feel more normal, but I usually learn a few tips and tricks to help me.
 
13. Read books to give your mind a break.

Give your mind a break by escaping into a good book. I love reading book series and getting caught up in the characters lives. Books are a way for me to escape my reality and have a break. I enjoy living vicariously through the characters in my books.

14. Be aware of your triggers.

I know I wrote an entire blog post on this, but it is so important I have to mention it here again.  Be aware of what triggers your anxiety. Set yourself up to be able to manage your anxiety by preparing ahead of time when you know you will encounter an unavoidable trigger (like driving, public speaking, traveling etc.). Also, know the triggers that make your anxiety worse. For example, I know that not having a plan for my day stresses me out, so I try to have a general outline of my day ahead of time.

*Click here for my earlier post. https://www.anxious-but-fabulous.com/anxious-but-fabulous/five-things-you-can-do-to-manage-your-anxiety-before-it-hits-you-by-knowing-your-triggers-and-preparing-ahead-of-time

15. Eat healthy low sugar/low caffeine diets. 

This is an easy one ladies and gentleman, sugar and caffeine are stimulants and make your anxiety worse. Watching my sugar and caffeine intake have been the difference of an anxiety free day and a day full of anxiety. Watch your caffeine and sugar intake people!
 
16. Get outside and soak up some vitamin D. 

First off, let me say that it is scientifically proven that being outside in nature increases brain function.  This is the easiest thing you can do, get your fanny outside. Take that walk outside for your break at work, step out on your porch and enjoy the sunshine, go for a walk, sunbathe. Do whatever you can to build in pockets of time outside. Side benefit is that Vitamin D is amazing for you too, and it is better absorbed from the sun itself.

17. Plan a dream trip. 

I know this may sound silly, but I can have some serious fun with this one. Always wanted to go to Bora-Bora? Then google hotels, look-up excursions, check out plane tickets, etc. Plan the trip and let your mind stay busy with something positive and fun. Throw that trip and your findings into a bucket list journal.
 
18. Give yourself YOU time. 

Make yourself take a break. What is that you enjoy doing by yourself? Do you like to read books, then read a book?  Do you enjoy baths, then take a bath. Do you enjoy sitting in your PJ’s on a Saturday morning watching Friends re-runs, then do that. Build in at least 30 minutes every day that you get to do exactly what you want to do. Relax and relish in this pocket of time that is just for YOU.
 
19. Set goals so you can focus on something exciting. 

Setting goals gives you something to focus on, keeps your going when you don’t feel like you can anymore, and keeps you stay excited about your futures. Setting goals gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation.
 
20. Go talk to a therapist or consider counseling.

If what you are doing is not working to manage your anxiety, get help! There is nothing wrong with this AT ALL. I remember when I would talk to my friends and family about my anxiety. I could see they didn’t understand it. It was so frustrating to feel so alone and misunderstood. Those who love me would tell me that I was normal, and that I would be okay. I remember thinking that of course they would say that, they love me and wouldn’t tell me I was totally going crazy. I needed to be validated by someone who did not know me and would be honest with me. I needed my therapist to tell me if what I was feeling was normal. I needed my therapist to tell me that I was going to be okay. Seek help if you need it!
 
I hope these tips help you, until next week my readers!
 
Ginger